Haters gonna hate. So you better know how to fight back. Luckily, we have this kid to give us tips on how to respond with force!
Go big or go home: If you're going to tell your hater who's boss, better do it in the biggest and grandest way possible
Make a video: To make sure that your hater shakes in fear, he/she needs to feel your anger. There's no better way of showing your anger than making a video. A video gives you more flexibility in obliterating your hater
Share it on the internet: A dude dissed you IRL? Share it online! Let that fucker know who has decent internet and can upload a 480p video. Billage Boy knew that he needed to intimidate Jhepoy Dizon. Calling the world wide web as your resbak would surely scare the fuck out of your hater.
Take note of what your hater said: There's no point in clapping back if you're going to skirt around your hater's allegations. You better have an answer to every shit he throws at you. You don't necessarily need to remember word per word, key points would do.
- Have a script: If you watch the video, Billage Boy from time-to-time would look to the lower right of the screen. My guess is that he has a script. Such great wisdom! Having a script makes you look more believable on video. Having "ums..." throughout your rant would make you look indecisive and weak!
- Answer your hater's allegations point by point: Since you'll be preparing a script, might as well arrange the flow of your rant based on your hater's arguments.
- Be Concise: Billage Boy's video is 37 seconds short but he was able to distill his message of pure rage and pure dominance in those thirty-seven seconds.
- Be mindful of your background: Make full use of the visual medium. Arrange background items to reinforce your arguments.
- Use props: Props make your points more tangible and more believable. Just make sure that they're at an arm's distance so you can pull them into frame on cue.
- Take your shirt off: Show that you're ready to square off (online) by not having a shirt during the entire video.
- Lighting: Good lighting is important, it makes you seem more confident. Ranting in a dark area makes it seem like you want to hide your identity.
Let's go through the video line per line to see how the Master applied these nuggets and additional builds:
[00:00 - 00:09] Introduction
"Tang ina mo! Jhepoy Dizon, ampanget ng pagmumukha mo! Nakita mo na ba mukha mo sa salamin?! Tangina mo! Ampanget mo ha?"
- NO MORE INTROS: Having no intro is like sucker punching in real life. Show your aggression by forfeiting pleasantries.
- Call out that mofo: Establish your fearlessness by saying the whole name of the dude. Billage Boy didn't stop with "Jhepoy". He called out Jhepoy Dizon's first and last name, in case Jhepoy Dizon wasn't sure which Jhepoy he was pertaining to. Like how Harry Potter bluntly says Voldemort's name rather than, "He Who Cannot Be Named". Let the whole world know who you're beefing with!
- Pepper your sentences with expletives: Expletives are the exclamation points of dialogue. End your sentences with an expletive to show how serious you are. Master Billage Boy went above and beyond expectations by starting and ending his opening argument with an expletive like how spaniards also use an inverted exclamation point before they exclaim "¡qué horror!". "Tang ina mo" is probably the best expletive to use. There's something with the pronunciation of it that fits any sentence's cadence perfectly.
[00:10 - 00:19] Rebuttal #1
"Tangina mo ah! At anong sinasabi mong pulubi ako't...taga-hugas ako ng pinggan ah? Tangina mo! Tignan mo nga bahay ko! Billage yan! Eh ikaw naman ano ah? Skwater? Tangina mo! Ha? HA?"
- Mention first point: In case your hater forgot what he said, make him remember.
- Never show you're afraid: Notice how Billage Boy didn't even flinch when he said "taga-hugas ako ng pinggan"? That's a rough pill to swallow but he didn't seem unfazed by it.
- Quick follow up with rebuttal: This is where Billage Boy used the background items to make his point. He answered Jhepoy Dizon's allegation by pointing out his property! No dishwashing boy could ever own two guitars, two CRT TVs, a folding bed, a walis tambo, a Stitch stuffed toy and a cute pig stuffed toy.
- Notice how Billage Boy continued to start and end his sentences with "Tang ina mo"? Maintain that energy. Don't you ever flinch.
- Billage Boy didn't stop there. Like a judoka, he effortlessly reversed the situation by alleging that probably Jhepoy Dizon's the poor one, not him!
[00:20 - 00:25] Rebuttal #2
"Nagyayabang ka pang may laptop ka? Kita mo 'to *brings out laptop* hampas ko 'to sa pagmumukha mo. Tangina mo!"
- Same thing, Billage Boy raised Jhepoy's second allegation but followed it up with his rebuttal. A stroke of genius from BB. Instead of just stating that he also had a laptop, he conveniently reached out a laptop from his side. Jhepoy might just be bluffing that he indeed had a laptop so BIllage Boy brought out his laptop to call his bluff.
- BB didn't stop there and went on to say that he'll slap Jhepoy Dizon with the laptop. Not only did this reinforce his second point but it also strengthened his first point. A masterstroke in scriptwriting! The subtext here is that his laptop is dispensable and he can easily replace it. Just like what any boy from a billage could do.
- Other things of note: Based on the size, it looked like a legit 14" notebook laptop, not just a netbook (plus points to his billage boy claim). Also he's recording the video on possibly a desktop. So BB has a laptop AND a desktop. Definite additional points to his economic standing.
[00:26 - 00:31] Closing Argument
"Ha? ha? *snaps fingers* ano ha? lalaban ka pa? Tang...Tang Ina mo extend ka na jan. Time ka na eh."
- After refuting all of Jhepoy Dizon's claims he continued his offensive.
- "Tang Ina mo extend ka na jan. Time ka na eh." was an ingenius insult to end his rant
- Presupposed that Jhepoy Dizon was too poor to play video games at home so he needed to play at a computer shop
- Two, that Jhepoy Dizon was too poor that he couldn't afford open time playing at the computer shop. That Jhepoy had to play in chunks and request for time extensions.
[00:32 - 00:37] Finish Him!!
*flips a twirling bird* [laughing in the background]
- Billage Boy probably thought that after his merciless and logically-sound arguments, Jhepoy Dizon's down for the count. To make sure that he had the last say (always have the last say) in this beef, BB twirled his middle finger on screen. And to show that he's pettier than the average jej, he invited a friend to also twirl his middle finger on screen.
- Note how this scene was edited in without transitions. BB made good use of another sucker punch.
- Use a cold open and transitions: Maximize the intensity of your video by foregoing intros and outros.
- The message IS your title: In just five words, Billage Boy was able to distill his emotions and the message of his rant. Such a master communicator.
Hope you learned how to effectively clap back at your hater. Lucky for us and we have this documentation from a master. Now go out into the world and tell the Jhepoy Dizon's of this world who's the shiznit.